The Start of Something New

Two days until my birthday. Three days until I take an oath to swear in as an official Peace Corps Volunteer. Four days until I break from the only familiarity I have come to know the past two and half months and move to my permanent site. Some day soon the reality of being here will hit me.
The unknown can be a very unsettling prospect to many people, present company included. Heck, embarking on the next stage of my Peace Corps life scares the daylights out of me. But, if history does in fact repeat itself, then I know things will be okay. I remember being absolutely nerve wracked to leave Junior High and go to High School, in the same building nonetheless. I was fairly confident of the safety net of my home town when I left for college and it turns out I did not need it that much ( I couldn’t quite leave the state though). And I cried unashamedly when my mother and sister left after dropping me off in Washington, D.C. for my internship. So needless to say, I do not feel ready to leave Pre-Service Training and go to my village for the next two years. I may be prepared, but I definitely do not feel ready. I’ve had a love-hate relationship with these last two months akin to that of eating a whole package of Oreos. I was hesitant to start, had highs and lows throughout, and felt pretty accomplished afterwards. The strength of the relationships I have forged with both Americans and Azerbaijanis is something I will forever cherish. And I do not have to worry about getting too sentimental yet, because most likely neither group will be going anywhere for the next two years, so our friendship can keep growing. But it is a frightening prospect to leave what I now consider familiar and comfortable for something new and foreign. I know it will work out. I know I will continue to make new memories and friendships and have ups and downs and days in between. But it is the start of something new, and that can be just as intimidating as a new package of Oreos.